So here's the deal...

So, here's the deal. I'm in college. And, shit's tough! I knew college would be hard, but I had no idea that it would be THIS hard. And I'm not just talking about academia. No siree. I'm talking about everything college. I'm talking drugs, alcohol, friends, family, laundry, money, employment, etc. Just this past weekend (Halloween weekend) I ended up in the Redlands Community Hospital because I decided that drinking and taking ecstasy was, for some reason, a great idea! False. What the HELL was I on? Oh... ecstasy. Well, here's the problem with that night (Friday), I don't remember it! I know vaguely where I went but I have absolutely no idea how I got there or what I did in between point A and point B. 

Anywho, not the point. Actually... that is exactly my point! I couldn't control myself! Goddamn it. I knew in the back of my head that this would happen. I was hoping to god that it wouldn't, but you know humans; We can't help ourselves. There's that initial curiosity. That "what if" that's always there. And as hard as we try NOT to go for that, it's inevitable.  I mean... who wouldn't? We all want to push our limits. We all want to see how far we can go, and find out what happens when we go too far.

You never want to be "that girl". The one that people whisper about and point at. You don't want to have that one night that friends always remind you of when you're trying your hardest to forget about it. Well... bad news bears. I became "that girl". And sure, it's a phase. It'll pass. But still, while it's here it sucks. I don't even know half the people pointing at me. Every clique has their own theory as to what happened and they all think that their story is fact. But bad things happen when you think your opinion is fact. Although, that's a different matter for a different blog post.

My point is.... welcome to college. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get better. But in the end, things DO get better.